drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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