She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
