I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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