Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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