have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
