Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
