here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
