Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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