I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
