I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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