OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
