Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
