Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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