these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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