these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
