hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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