just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize