just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
