you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
