He is such a slut. More and more my type.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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