he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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