"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
