I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize