All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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