ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
