I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
