I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
