i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
