so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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