just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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