I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
