i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
