Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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