The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
