No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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