shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
