I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
