i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
