and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
