I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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