He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
