My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is the high leading the old right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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