she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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