We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
