You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
