Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
