her vagine was all disorganized.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
