Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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