you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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