why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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