she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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