Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
