I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
