I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
