We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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