hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize