he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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