strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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