I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
