I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
did i just pee glitter
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
