So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
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Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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